May 1, 2016

How your habits can influence your goal's success.

Saurabh Chawla | | 0 Comments|
Let's face it. We all have goals set for ourselves but seldom we can achieve all of them. Have you ever figured out the reason for the slack? We often get entangled in different point of views, digesting a lot of information, even sometimes more than we can digest even. We set a goal but after two or three weeks we give up on them. What factors influence our actions which led to giving up on our goal?
good habits

Below I would be discussing few factors which I feel and some which I have found out after reading from the internet from various experts giving their point of views:
1) We don't get out of our comfort zone.
This is the number one factor which I feel that is a reason behind us slacking in achieving the goals. Here I would like to quote a very good explanation which I read in Jack Canfield's book '25 principles of success'. It said that if we take an example of a baby elephant who is taught to stay tethered to a pole will stay there only. In his younger years he is small, so he can't force break the rope, but it has been found that even if he grows bigger and stronger, he still doesn't even try to break open the rope.
That elephant was taught to stay in that zone only, which he accepts as his comfort zone. He is unwilling to get out of that zone. Similarly, we are taught since our childhood days, more or less the same thing from our peers, friends, family members etc. We get nervous when we try to force ourselves out from our comfort zone.
Solution: Most people get this wrong. They jump out very fast without giving time to their minds to adopt to the sudden change. I am not saying to get out of your comfort zone at one instant, but you can do it slowly and gradually by making small changes to your daily routine. Or body and our mind adapts to the changes around us, so it will adapt this change as well. Just give it a try to see the results.
'Imagine that if a chocolate bar is placed in front of you while on the other side a bowl of freshly cut fruits is kept in front of you, what would you pick first?'
2) Keep your focus steady
We always jump into many things at one time. The result of which is of course loss of focus. We try to focus on many things simultaneously which leads to all the goals being unfulfilled. Similarly, for the habits, we have to focus on one habit first. We have to build that habit in ourselves, make it stronger and then move on to the next habit which we need to incorporate.
Solution: Try to focus on one habit at a time and look for the results. I used this habit philosophy while studying a tough subject, while writing my blogs, while exercising to stay fit, to change my attitude etc. on the daily basis and for several other instances in my life. But I started doing it from one habit at a time. Try to build it by following one habit at a time.
3) We don't commit to our goals
We always try to take things easy. Sometimes, one has to be hard to himself/herself. This needs full dedication and full commitment from your side. We commit for some time, but after that time, we give up. This leads us to return to same old habit structure which we followed.
Solution: Start taking the habits seriously and be fully committed to its development, till it's hard-wired in you. Avoid any distractions whatsoever that hinders you  to succeed in acquiring that positive habit.
4) Temptation is always towards the bad side
Imagine that if a chocolate bar is placed in front of you while on the other side a bowl of freshly cut fruits is kept in front of you, what would you pick first? Most of the answers would be 'The chocolate bar' (This is just an example.) Such temptations always lead in lot of slip ups making it harder as well as longer to reach that goal. The solution for this also I have written below.
Solution: Reward yourself. If we take the same case above, promise yourself a chocolate bar after eating that bowl of freshly cut fruits for, say three weeks. But please check on the quantity consumed. Don't make a fake promise of 3 chocolate bars after having fruit bowl for a week! Try to kill the urge for few days and you will see for yourself that the urge is no longer  felt.
5) Small failures make us negative
Failure is something inevitable. If you fail for the first time, don't change the goal, but try to change the way you approached to the issue firsthand. We often notice people leaving the goal or habit because they couldn't make it for the first time.
Solution: Failure is nothing to worry about. You are not alone who has failed. There are many out there, who have seen darkness for a long period of their lives. They didn't give up and now they face the brighter side of life with a broad smile. Make it a habit of never giving up. You won't regret it.
These small changes in your daily approach and thinking will help you to adopt that habit which you always longed for. Remember, stay positive always. Drop by drop a bucket is filled with water. Daily, small changes in your habits philosophy will be of a significant value later in life.
So start today. pick up one of your bad habits and start changing it from today onward.
Featured image credit: here

Apr 24, 2016

How parents can help to develop their child's future

Saurabh Chawla | | | 2 Comments|

Acting as a super kid, a 14-year-old committed suicide recently. It followed by another death of a 16 year old girl. The only reason that led to their extreme step was a mere failure to surpass the expectations. The education system in India is the culprit or the parents? Frankly speaking, both of them are equally responsible for the loss of innocent as well as capable lives. The education system, however affects the life at a later stage. The conditioning is done in the home by the parents. The early childhood education imparted by the parents can play an important role in shaping up a child's future.

Here are the things which parents and education system can do to give the best of the education to the kids:



1) Teach the Children - How to be Fearless:

Fear can be of anything. Fear is a natural phenomenon. The most dreadful of the fears is experienced by small children. A lot many times, parents play an important role in passing on the fear to the kids. Seeing the mothers with small children in the malls is a common thing nowadays. A little observation can show that the mother is reluctant to agree to the demand of the kid to buy a toy. The dialogue is somewhat like the one mentioned below:

Kid: 'Mom, I want that Spiderman Robot!'

Mother: 'Don't be so pushy. If you will force me, I will leave you with Papa alone and gone forever.'

The mother knows it very well that coping with the separation is something which the child will not be able to handle. She uses this tool as a weapon to let her child to dance to her tunes. Eventually, it's a false claim which will end up nowhere. The only result of this would be the loss of trust that the child used to have on the mother.

Teaching the children to be fearless is important aspect in the early childhood education. Any fear of similar nature can prove disastrous for the child's mental being. It will not let the child to think freely, explore freely, and live freely.

how parents' negative behavior can affect child's growth

2) Set the Right Expectations

It's a dream of every parent to see their child on top of everything. Is it practically possible? There is no problem with expecting something out from the children but a note of caution is to set the right amount of  expectation, neither too high, neither too low. Setting the expectation which is too high will make the child stressed out. This will only lead the child to take extreme steps like suicide.

The best way observe the interests of the children and motivate them to pursue the same. This would help in setting the children on right track as well as setting the right expectations.

3) Teach the Children - The Right and Wrong

The right and wrong are necessary elements for building up the character of the child. The problem is that the knowledge of right and wrong is imparted based on what the society thinks. Society can be right on the thing which you think is wrong and it can be wrong on what you  think is right. What is needed out of the child is important and not what is needed out of the society.

It is true that some of the rules are to be followed to live in the society. Besides the basic rules, some rules can be created which are essential for the child to follow and be the person of character.

4) Learn from experience

It's rife to expect the children to behave as mature people. It should be noted that every individual has different experiences in life. The parents' experience is far more than the child's experience. It should be taken into consideration before expecting a mature behavior from the child.   

love gives room to the child's interests to breed

Education System:

There are several quotations on education, but the following is something worth mentioning:

'Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.'

                                                                                         - Nelson Mandela 

Education system plays an important role in framing up the child's future. Education system in India, is, unfortunately playing a negative role. A significant part of a child's life is spent on education. The education system should bear the responsibility to put the life of the student in the right path. The education system in India is, however making things complicated. The intentions, however are not wrong but the approach needs a revision.

Following are the things which can be done by education system in India to brighten up the child's future:

1) Target the interest of the student 

The overall development of the child is necessary. The real trouble arises when the students need to study some of the stuff that is practically useless. It can save a student's precious time and give the student laser focus. The student will be clear with respect to the direction in which his life is going.

If the student is not clear about the purpose or what interests him, then the schools should check the same before giving admissions. The facts can be seen from history itself. All those who chased their interests came out with flying colors.   

Oscar Wilde has quoted this beautifully,

'Nowadays people know the price of everything but the value of nothing. '

                                                                - Oscar Wilde

The same is being followed by the education system in India. People know the price of every course but fail to realize the true value of the course they are pursuing. It takes them to the dead-end and eventually they give up.

2) Take up steps to enhance the strengths, work on the weaknesses

Knowing the strengths of the student, steps could be taken to strengthen them. This can be done by making them practice the tasks involving the skills they are good at. The time taken to build up their strengths is far less than the one taken to strengthen their weaknesses. The point is that the skills in which one is already strong are the ones in which the student is interested in pursuing. Weaknesses should also be taken care of  by experimenting with the different approaches. The best approach should be selected to make sure that the weakness is covered.

3) Take the best advantage of the play schools

Before attending the main school, children are admitted to the play schools. Play schools should make it a point in noticing the strong areas of the child and they can suggest the field(s) best for the child to pursue. Normally, it is done by the play schools but parents tend to neglect it. There could be plethora of reasons for the negligence. Most of them are because their interests are out of the society's acceptance zone.

4) Making the children fearless

This might seem a repetition. Like parents, education system is also responsible to impart fearlessness in children. Teaching the children - how to be fearless should be a part of every curriculum. Fear is nothing but a boundary which limits the brain's potential to grow. The progress of the child is affected deeply if they suffer from fear of any kind. 

how parents and education system in India can contribute to bright future of the children


The early childhood education imparted by the parents along with the education system in India can help beat the problem faced by the youth of India today, aimlessness. Living a life without a goal or without any purpose is regretful in the end. If it seems true to you then remember,

'Nothing but a hole, to live without a soul and nothing to be learned'
                                               - Audioslave, Shadow on the Sun

Disclaimer - The points mentioned are author's own views on the subject. 

Apr 17, 2016

How experience teaches some of the important lessons in life.

Saurabh Chawla | | 0 Comments|
Many a times, people see themselves fail. Even after knowing some strategy they had put into their project is the best, they still fail. Some people know that they will succeed if they follow this strategy and will not succeed if they follow that strategy. The former ones play a speculative game while the latter ones have already played their speculative games and know what will work and what will not.
Experience, if one follows from the meaning of the word, it means 'practical contact with and observation of facts or events.' It comes from exploring the things around. Consider a scenario of a child and an adult. If we give both of them a burning match stick, the probability of the child getting his hand burnt is much higher than that of the adult. The reason, experience. An adult already knows that the burning match stick will burn his hand while the child experienced it. So the next time if a burning match stick is given to the child, he/she will know that it's going to hurt him/her.
The people gain experience when they start exploring different things around them. If you start going to different places with different gatherings, you will get to know new people, there will be conversations with people of like mind which in turn will help you to form a network.
If you try doing one thing and fail, that is called as experience. You tried, you failed. You should take it positively. Take notes of what went wrong? Either you were mot well prepared or you were overconfident that you overlooked the failure.
Once you try to take every failure as an experience, making changes in your path rather than changing your entire goal, you will notice a positive feeling inside you. That feeling will lead you to success.
Experience comes with time. They both are directly proportional. You must try to explore different situations, circumstances and record your reactions to them. The more you would be able to gain experience, more self esteem, more confidence you would have.
Do let us know your feedback by commenting below.
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